To Stop A Bully In Their Tracks, Teach Your Kids to Say This!

I don't let anyone hit me!

Period.

There's only one little snafu. If we teach our children not to let anyone hit them, we probably shouldn't hit them ourselves.

Children learn by example.

My first job was as a teacher's aide in a 4K summer program for at-risk children.

On my first day, as I bent down to tie a child's shoe, another ran up quickly behind me and grabbed my ponytail, trying to see if he could swing on it. I don't remember how I reacted over 40 years ago, but this child, I'll call him "Joey", continued to be a challenge throughout the summer, often hitting and kicking other children to get his way. Unfortunately, this child's last name was Meany.

Years later, my Dad, a retired jr. high school principal, told me a story about having to call a parent in about a child fighting in school and having the parent jump out of the car yelling, "Where is he? I'm gonna kick the living %$#* out of him!"

My Dad had been this man's teacher, also, years ago, so he was able to bring him in and calm him down before the boy came in to talk about fighting.

Too bad the kid's last name was Meany.

Wait, Joey Meany was the child who got in trouble for fighting? The same Joey Meany I had problems with in 4-K?

Yep! Same kid, same family. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, they say. I looked that boy up on Facebook out of curiosity, and his profile picture included a couple of guns. The entire story is true, but I did change the names a bit!

My point is this...

Let's stand up for what we believe in without blaming, threathening or harming others. Let's learn how to stand together in strength, resilience, and intelligence.

And let's start teaching our children about non-violent communication early on, when it matters most to their lifelong approach to everything. One of the key concepts in non-violent communication is the use of "I" messages. Here's the most important "I" message you can teach them.

I don't let anyone hit me.

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Nanci J Bradley is an early childhood and family educator, author, teacher, family aerobics instructor, and all-around fun-loving person. She believes in the power of sleep, healthy eating, lifelong learning, and most of all, PLAY! She studied early childhood education at Triton College and received her BS in education from NIU in 1986. She received her MA in human development from Pacific Oaks College in 2009. She lives and teaches in Madison, WI.

reflection:

Do you think it's ever OK to use physical punishment on a child?

What are some alternatives to physical punishment?

How do you advise young children when dealing with bullies?

citation:

Rosenberg, Marshall B. Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Life: Create Your Life, Your Relationships & Your World in Harmony with Your Values. Puddle Dancer ; Gazelle, 2003.

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