One Mistake Gentle Parenting Advocates Often Make

Gentle parenting is a means of parenting without shame, blame, or punishment—

Kimberly Zapata

This is a wonderful philosophy until, as parents, we have to decide what to do when a child misbehaves and then doesn't listen to our gentle, reasonable explanation when we ask them to stop.

Or what to do when they seem to listen but then repeat the behavior, or hold off on it until they're sure we're not looking, and do it anyway.

Gentle parenting prescribes an ideal first response to a child’s behavior, but leaves us hanging for how to respond when the child does not actually change a behavior (like interrupting when you’re on the phone).-Emily Edlynn Ph.D. for Psychology Today Posted March 18, 2024

We may know that it's counterproductive to use shame, blame, or harsh punishment, but how do we respond in the moment? So what do we do?

At Early Childhood Rocks, a nonprofit organization, we specialize in answers.

The answer is to rely on good-natured control. Children are certainly capable of making decisions, and it helps to give them choices, but the decision to run a safe and happy household is up to the adults in the family.

This is an evidence-based approach that produces positive, real-life results. It's called authoritative parenting or autonomy-supported parenting.

Want more specific, evidence-based answers about the infant brain?

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Nanci J Bradley is an early childhood and family educator, author, teacher, family aerobics instructor, and all-around fun-loving person. She believes in the power of sleep, healthy eating, lifelong learning, and most of all, PLAY!  (click on the word) She studied early childhood education at Triton College and received her BS in education from NIU in 1986. She received her MA in human development from Pacific Oaks College in 2011. She lives and teaches in Madison, WI.