Empathy and Observation in Real Life Situations

Yes, empathy can indeed be created. It doesn't appear from nowhere. But how do we build empathy in young children? Here's one word that can help us focus on what it really takes.

COVES

Caring

Observation

Vigilance

Expectations

Scaffolding

O is for observation.

Last week i talked about creating empathy in young children through caring and I gave some specifics on how to do that from over 50 years of teaching children 0-8. If you didn't see that post, you can go back and look at it here.

This week we're focusing on something else we want to see more of.

Observation.

Here's a story that illustrates this perfectly!

Hi Honey, I'm home! Oh good! Baby Shelly's sound asleep. They look so peaceful! Awww. So what have you been doing? Did you get anything done on your project, or did you take a well-deserved nap?

No, we took a walk, and the baby fell asleep, so I was able to transfer them to the crib successfully. However, since then, I've just been staring at the sleeping baby. I can't seem to help it! I don't know what's wrong with me.

This scene is more common than you'd think. Although we rarely admit to spending time staring at a sleeping baby when we could be getting something done, many parents do it. They just don't always tell the truth about it.

There's nothing wrong with the parent in the story. They're just following their instincts and doing what comes naturally. Human beings are wired to look at other human beings, especially those we love and cherish. That's because we learn by observation, and just as babies learn by watching their parents, parents learn about their babies by watching them.

It's a two-way street.

As a master's student at Pacific Oaks College, I was asked to compare and contrast the 5 major developmental theorists: Dewey, Montessori, Erikson, Piaget, and Vygotsky. My primary takeaway was that all five theorists placed a huge level of importance on observation as a developmental tool. There's a reason for that. Observation helps us plan our next steps carefully.

We can foster more empathy in the world, but we must be more intentional about it, and we must start during the first few years of life. Here's some important information on brain development from Harvard.

In the first few years of [human] life, more than 1 million new neural connections form every second.* After this period of rapid proliferation, connections are reduced through a process called pruning, which allows brain circuits to become more efficient. In light of these findings, focusing on early childhood only makes sense.-Center for the Developing Child, Harvard University-

Here's a couple of ways you can use observation to build resilience and empathy in our youngest.

One

Observe and comment on what young children are doing. Especially things that you wouldn't mind seeing more of.

Take joy in their actions and choices.  Toddlers are always doing something.  By commenting on their actions, you give positive attention and help develop their language at the same time.  Here are a few examples.

• Stuart's climbing. That looks fun.

• Amy's getting a truck from the bin.

• Sheldon's playing with trains. Choo Choo! Would you like to hear your favorite train song,?

• Raj and Howie are cooking breakfast. They're working together.

two

When a child misbehaves, try the BDA method of observation. Take some time to write down everything that you remember about what occurred Before, During, and After the incident. Were they hungry, tired, or in a crowded space? Was it noisy? Who was there? What were they doing? Where were you? What time of day was it?

Remember:

The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. -William Ross Wallace-

Don't miss next week's post on how to build empathy through vigilance.

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Nanci J Bradley is an early childhood and family educator, author, teacher, family aerobics instructor, and an all-around fun-loving person. She believes in the power of sleep, healthy eating, lifelong learning, and most of all, PLAY! She studied early childhood ed at Triton College and received her BS in education in 1986 from NIU. She received her MA in human development from Pacific Oaks College in 2011. She lives and teaches in Madison WI.