Best Sleep Tips Ever (0-5)

Most babies would rather do just about anything than fall asleep peacefully.

Innately, they want to safely explore the world and learn about it. Falling asleep may make them feel vulnerable and/or experience FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out).

Adults know that we need to sleep in order for our brains and bodies to work right, but babies' brains may be wired toward prioritizing survival and constant learning about their environment. We have to help them regulate, wind down, and relax enough to sleep peacefully.

A provider I knew had worked in a family child care program where the children all loved naptime. That's nearly unheard of!

When asked what they did to make it that way, she said this:

The  lead teacher made sure they got outside in the sun and had lots of playtime each morning.

After a good meal, the children all changed into their jammies and even had slippers on site to wear. They used soft lighting. Both teachers supervised quiet play, toileting, and diapering. (Lunch clean-up came later.)

They moved on to lap reading and lullabies. When the lights went down further, and a certain song came on, the children held on to their stuffed animals and moved to their cots, without a word. Every child slept every day while she worked there.

Amazing! This shows what can be done by using a smart schedule and sticking to a fun routine. Getting enough sleep is important for everyone. Use this chart to make sure you and your family are on track.

One thing that helps children to feel safe is boundaries. If you have trouble setting boundaries without sounding mean, you can join us and get our presentation on How to Get Kids To Listen Without Yelling or Time-Outs (normally a $9.99 donation) for free here.

Regardless of what the "sleep experts" say, there is no single method that works for every child. In most cases, it seems to be some magical combination of thoughtful caregivers/parents and thoughtful methods that work the magic.

Here are some of my best tips and techniques after 50 years of helping children fall asleep peacefully. This list is not exhaustive.

Infants plus

• Listen carefully to their cues. Watch and listen as much as you can. Learn how they behave when they're tired and hungry. Learn how the two are different. Infants turn their heads away when overstimulated and/or tired. Watch this example of a dad listening to his infant during a serve and return session.

  
  

Dad actually notices when his baby is done and someone turns the camera off. Did you hear that baby say "no" when Dad says "your turn"?

• Infants rub their eyes when sleepy. They fuss and whine at things they normally wouldn't when they're tired. They might also scream inconsolably until they're able to calm down and sleep, or they may throw temper tantrums.

• Notice early when they're getting tired and talk them through the process of a nap or a bedtime ritual. It is one of the smartest things you can do to get a baby to enjoy sleep.

  

• Children often start to stir and wake up 37 minutes after falling asleep. Any sound at all during that 5-7-minute wakeful period could lead to increased wakefulness. After that, they wake up at the start of each sleep cycle throughout the night. Children who are in the habit of falling back asleep on their own by adjusting their position or turning their head will do so. Children who are used to having a parent help them go back to sleep will continue to do so until that habit is broken.

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  Sometimes the younger the child, the more you have to do to help them to sleep but never do more than you need too. That's because whatever you do to help them to sleep, will be expected of you from that point forward. Don't do anything you're not able to keep up with like taking a long drive in the car in order to put them to sleep. If you nurse or bottle-feed them to sleep, they'll expect that, too.

• Pick up on their natural schedule and make it a ritual. Keep track of things with a pen and paper for a while if it helps. Discover their patterns and open the door to their sleep.

• Try using a sound machine.

• Move gradually from putting them to sleep to teaching them to sleep.

• Make sure they get enough calories and fat during the day so they won't need as much at night

Todllers plus

• Continue to set the mood for sleep.

• Use a predictable and fun ritual for naps and bedtime. Relaxed diaper changes and getting into a sleep sack can be soothing, even though they might protest with the realization of what's to come.

• Talk them through things gently and confidently.

• Use stories, quiet music, laptime, songs and cuddles

• All children need sunshine and physical exercise during the morning hours in order to be ready for naps and bedtimes. Some need a certain type and/or amount of sensory stimulation well before their rest. Allowing plenty of time for unstructured play can help to satisfy their senses.

• Overtired children have a much harder time falling asleep than children who are just beginning to get tired.

• Try a "social story". Here's one I made on Canva. Drawing paper folded in half with stick

  figure drawings work just as well!

Preschoolers plus

• Continue with sunshine,exercise, and play during the day.

• Talk with them about their sleep and how it can be nice and peaceful. Explain how their body and brains will feel after they sleep.

• Cutdown on stimulation like tablets, games, and TV at least 45 minutes before sleep.

• You may need to stay close until the child is lying still.

• You can allow solitary, quiet reading on beds, but avoid allowing them to get up.

• You can decide on the number of books, usually 1-3, but let them choose which ones for themselves.

• Stress that the books are to help them settle down peacefully.

• Draw the line at playing with books instead of looking at them. As the adult in charge, you can ask the child to set the book down and lie still.

• Singing a special song to them might be all they need to lie still.

• A restless child can keep themselves awake simply by squirming.

• Rub backs, but only if needed.

• If there is a struggle, the child may be overtired.

Trouble sleeping yourself? Here's your self-care bonus. Click here and read about some unconventional adult sleep strategies!

Nanci J Bradley is an early childhood and family educator, author, teacher, family aerobics instructor, and an all-around fun-loving person. She believes in the power of sleep, healthy eating, lifelong learning, and most of all, PLAY! She studied early childhood ed at Triton College and received her BS in education in 1986 from NIU. She received her MA in human dev from Pacific Oaks College in 2011. She lives and teaches in Madison WI and is the founder of early childhood rocks, a non-profit org dedicated to creating change through early childhood education.