Say This/Not This!

Expectations play a huge role in creating responsible, empathetic human beings. Our approach to everything, our attitudes, and our ability to communicate with others effectively are all formed during our first few years of life.

Scientists have long known that emotional habits can change the neural pathways that govern mood and regulation.

But if it's so important, how are we supposed to know what to expect? And how do we help young children develop good emotional habits?

Excellent early childhood educators generally know what to expect through their education and hands-on experience with very young children. This chart shows some common ways our words can make a big difference in our effectiveness when we attempt to guide them.

I'm going to share a story with you about learning to tell the truth.

3-year-old Raj was upstairs playing in his room when he heard his Dad ask, in a firm voice, how the shaving cream got all over the bathroom mirror.

"I don't know," said Raj.

"Raj! You're the only one up here who could have done it."

"Well, I didn't do it! Leslie must have done it."

"Leslie's in her crib; she couldn't have done it!"

"Well, maybe she climbed out and got back in!"

"You're lying to me, Raj, and we both know it!"

The moral of the story is that Raj never did admit to the mess because he was afraid to. So Dad never got the chance to thank him for telling the truth and work together with him to clean up the mirror.

An alternative scenario might be that Dad realized it was a critical teaching moment and got Raj to admit the deed by explaining that it was a problem to be fixed and that Dad would be less upset once Raj acknowledged the truth.

Thanks for reading this short article. I hope it helped you in some small way.

If you could use more quick and easy-to-remember phrases that work to assist you in helping young children to Listen and Like It, we have a presentation with 22 such phrases that you can start using today. It sells for just $9.99 on our website, but you can get a copy for free today only, when you join our community here!

Otherwise you might want to browse over 200 articles we have available for free or check out our offerings on biting, separation issues, hitting and baby sign language here. We are a nonprofit organization, and your small donation allows us to keep spreading the good news in early childhood education.

Nanci J Bradley is an early childhood and family educator, author, teacher, family aerobics instructor, and all-around fun-loving person. She believes in the power of sleep, healthy eating, lifelong learning, and most of all, PLAY! She studied early childhood ed at Triton College and received her BS in education in 1986 from NIU. She received her MA in human development from Pacific Oaks College in 2011. She lives and teaches in Madison WI.