Why do kids tattle?

Do they want to be know-it-alls? Make others feel bad? Look better than others? Get someone else in trouble?

Possibly, especially after tattling becomes a habit.

But why do kids tattle to begin with? As an infant, toddler, preschool, kindergarten, Head Start, and family child care teacher for over 50 years. I've had some experience with tattling.

As an adult, I have to admit that I still cringe imperceptibly when I hear a child tattle, especially in a certain tone of voice,

"Not again!!" I might be screaming on the inside, but I know I have to respond differently.

In the past, I might have tried saying something like:

What happened?

Is it bleeding?

Who started it?

Did you talk to them about it?

However, there is a simpler way that addresses the problem at its roots. Since our brains are actually wired to solve problems, we might acknowledge that by saying:

It sounds like you're having a problem. Would you like help solving it?

Then listen to all sides of the story.

What happens next depends on the children's ages, but you can help them solve the problem by giving them as little help as they need to be successful. For example:

• I have a timer. I can help you take turns with it.

• I can hold the ball while you talk.

• I can sit here while you talk and try to figure it out without yelling, blaming, or hurting each other.

• I can help you think of a different game to play for a while.

• I can help you make up rules and write them down to post.

Hint: if they come up with a weird solution that doesn't seem fair to you, you can always just let them try it. They might surprise you!

Eradicate blame and replace it with responsibility. In this way, we can actually teach problem-solving. Otherwise, our kids will just keep bringing us their problems because with all of our experience, we could obviously solve them faster and more efficiently. But sooner or later, they'll have to learn to solve their own problems.

We can provide them with the skills they need to do that. All it takes is knowledge, time, and dedication. Click on our Baby Brain Toolkit/Curriculum to learn more!

Nanci J Bradley is an early childhood and family educator, author, teacher, family aerobics instructor, and an all-around fun-loving person. She believes in the power of sleep, healthy eating, lifelong learning, and most of all, PLAY!  She studied early childhood ed at Triton College and received her BS in education in 1986 from NIU. She received her MA in human dev from Pacific Oaks College in 2011. She lives and teaches in Madison WI and is the founder of early childhood rocks, a non-profit org dedicated to creating change through early childhood education.